Happy Fourth!

1. She felt that she was earning too much credibility.

2. Her 14 year old really IS knocked up, and now she has to raise another kid with “family values.”

3. She decided to take pity on the AK old boys network and let them win this one.

4. She was dying to use that sports analogy in the 2008 election, but McCain wouldn’t let her use it.

5. She finally picked up a newspaper and realized that right wing loonies are the only ones that like her.

6. Vanity Fair offered her a job as an Op Ed columnist.

7. Todd decided he wanted to try his hand at US Senator.

8. Her schedule was too packed with celebrities to pick fights with and she didn’t want to distract from what’s really important.

9. She needs new clothes weekly, and there are no Macy’s or Nordstrom’s outlets in AK.

10. She got tired of all of the weak ethics complaints against her, and decided she couldn’t be really crooked until she made it to Washington.

Even if Letterman was talking about Willow (which he wasn’t), he offered an apology and offered to have the Palins on his show where he would- apologize publicly!

Watch the video clips of the parade, the ball game, etc of the Palins in NYC. Willow looks exactly like Bristol, especially with those big sunglasses on, so if she’s not identified specifically it’s reasonable to assume that it was the third adult public figure in the family that accompanied mom and dad to draw attention to teen pregnancy or whatever cause where she wants people to do what she didn’t. Letterman saw the news footage, thought it was Bristol, and wrote his jokes.

Letterman never said “rape.” Todd Palin said “rape.” Now they’ve latched on to it as though the words came right out of Dave’s mouth, and have since tried to characterized Letterman as a slavering, pedophilic old man who wants to rape little girls. Palin said that she would keep Willow away from Letterman as though that was the case, and when Matt Lauer asked her to explain it, she said “you can take that however you want.” She knows what she meant by it, and then had the nerve to talk about a double standard in media coverage with regard to her family.

Bristol is an adult. Bristol has made herself a public figure. This is what Letterman was jumping off of, and even he admitted that the jokes were in poor taste.

Maybe they just use that term “rape” so easily because that’s the culture they live in. Maybe that’s because Alaska has the highest rate of rape per capita in the nation and the government hasn’t done much to protect its female residents. Maybe it’s because then Mayor Palin of Wasilla claimed not to know that her city was charging rape victims for their forensic kits.

This is how she keeps her high profile? With page 6 nonsense that has nothing to do with the party platform? She had an opportunity to humble Letterman on his own show and garner attention for her own cause. As long as this ignorant, spiteful woman is out front of the GOP, they’re going to be nothing but a punchline.

p.s. Palin does look like a slutty flight attendant. Flight attendants in general look pretty classy. Big up to Lufthansa!

MJH, born on 5/13, at 8 pounds and 21.5 inches. Mom and Baby are fine!





*Fisrt sign of Bizarro Genius...osity: It takes up to three months for babies to put their hands in their mouths- Marian handled that in two days. Next week she plans on giving a lecture on fluid dynamics, but how can a baby afford a plane ticket to Berkeley? Costs of parenthood, I suppose...

PETA Sucks!

PETA to Pet Shop Boys: Rescue Shelter Boys, perhaps? by CNN

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/04/10/peta.pet.shop.boys/index.html

Read the letter here:

http://www.petshopboys.co.uk/browser.aspx

Man, I was almost thinking about considering debating whether or not I maybe wanted one of these things...

Embedded video from CNN Video

The W@anker has been recinded!

NCAA Championship game tomorrow! I probably won't watch it, but this one fits current events.







Super Secret Rap Battle Bonus Track! Flight of the Conchords "Sugar Lumps." Because it's that good.

Ba-BOOM!

Sorry, this just couldn't wait-

You have your choice between the "Determined Chia-Obama" and the "Happy Chia-Obama."

Ok, I just finished my AS in Graphic Design with Honors, and am heading right into my Bachelor's.

I have, by all medical accounts, a healthy and active daughter who's just itching to arrive.

I have scads of most excellent friends and family.

I have a meeting with a big Chicago Ad firm about a campaign that I did for a class, among other respectable projects for a Sophomore designer.

The Bears just made a deal to pick up Jay Cutler from the Broncos.

The President of the USA is Black.

I'm about to order some rib tips for dinner.

Seriously, what's going on here? Next thing I know, beer won't give me gas anymore...

I'm freaking out!

The showers in MPLS went off without a hitch, and they were great! Sorry we missed those we didn’t see, hope to catch up with you next time…

So, week 29. Doc Worm’s got a nice little pregnant belly, I have a nice big pregnant belly, and the cat is generally oblivious to the whole thing. All he probably knows is that his bookshelf, from which he observes his underlings (us) was removed without his authorization. Poor bastard.

The Chief was telling me that the prospect of fatherhood got real for him once they started gathering the accoutrements of parenthood, but there was no real freak out. I’m still waiting to freak out- right now I’m just filling up my condo with stuff for a very small person that isn’t quite here yet. She already has a better wardrobe than I do…

That’s why there’s been no real Prenatal Paranoia-esque accounting of worries about this or that, as was recorded by one of my fellow worms. And besides, what could I really say that hasn’t been said before? Sure, Doc Worm has just enough knowledge to freak out about every little thing, but we’ve got a great OB who doesn’t sweat what shan’t be sweated, and so we haven’t worried about too much.

My biggest worries are going to come down the line- trying to avoid the little psych stuff that may cause permanent damage (how long should I keep my kid taped inside the cardboard box?), like the kinds of things my folks did. Ok, for the record there was no cardboard box, and besides, isn’t that really the job of a sibling? We’re already planning on two kids….

Read this: http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/02/17/bristol.palin.interview/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Ok, now that Bristol's officially a media figure... what the &$#* is wrong with Sarah Palin? She doesn't want abstinence taught in schools but she believes that her kids should be abstinent, but she obviously didn't teach this child anything at home. "Oh, just don't talk about it" doesn't work- sure there's an element of the child's own actions, but Bristol was in the perfect position (no pun intended) for this NOT to happen. And now she's saying that she wished she would've waited, and the father ("fiance") is nowhere to be found. I can't wait until Palin tries to run for president on her "family values" platform as the grandmother of a little bastard kid. "Do as I say, not as I do." Right.

Was that hateful enough?

Ok, I officially want to change my answer for 2009 Dead Pool Entertainer to "Chris Brown." As you may know, he was arrested for a domestic with an unidentified woman, who reports are now starting to say actually was Rihanna (LAPD policy is to not reveal the identities of parties involved in domestics). this would explain why she didn't show up at the Grammys either, and I thought he was cheating on her at first.

Anyway, long story short, Chris Brown is going to be dead by the end of the year. Jay-Z is going to have him killed. I should get a bonus point.

I was just listening to a couple of people (GOP and Dem) go at it about how there should be accountability but on the other hand limiting the pay of executives to $500k until the bailout is paid back would cause a loss of the talent needed to actually get the companies healthy again. As usual, it got heated and in the end nothing was accomplished.

Here's my solution, and by the way- why am I the one thinking of this!?

As with any other executive, write it into their contract. Figure you have X dollars in the bailout, and by doing Y amount of business you can have it paid back in Z years.

Just defer the compensation and make it a condition of the successful rehabilitation of the company.

This doesn't even take into account that the salary cap doesn't affect compensation in the form of stocks.

I have to be the one to tell them this? Idjits.

The way I see it, it's a tie!

Careerbuilder got me with "Hey Dummy" and Koala-punching (not to mention the fact that the Koala had glasses, a cup of coffee, and a British accent- he had it coming).



And Doritos got me with their crystal ball.



Considering that both of these ads revolve around less than perfect office environments, I think it would be easy to tell that I was horribly scarred in my office experience. I've personally experienced just about all of the crap that they run down, with the exception of riding a... whatever it was in the sea. And crying at the bus stop almost got me beat up once.

First, read this article from CNN.com:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/26/rnc.obama.satire/index.html

Now, I’ll play devil’s advocate and give it to the RNC that it was purely political satire, no harm intended, and it was part of a larger parody of the events of the 2008 election that was contained in the disc. I may have even said that it was hilarious, but it’s only mildly amusing- read the lyrics here:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1342395/barack_the_magic_negro_lyrics.html

But here’s the problem:
First, it was sent only to RNC members, which made it look like a nasty inside joke kept among the losers of the election. Why not share it with the world, if they didn’t think that any offense should be taken?

Second, the RNC hasn’t earned the right to parody anything Black people do- and don’t bring up Lincoln- that was more than 140 years ago, and he would be rolling in his grave if he saw what his party had become.
Why? The RNC has refused to recognize racism on an institutional level. Their political philosophy looks great on paper, but don’t try to tell a Republican that a Black guy didn’t get a job because of the color of his skin or manner of dress or speech. There are still too many employers out there that are distrustful of people because they appear to be a certain way, and a lot of those ways revolve around the dress, speech, and overall appearance of Black people.

The RNC has also refused to chastise and marginalize racists. Just look on YouTube at the video of the crowds outside of McCain/Palin rallies during the election- that was some of the vilest hatred that I have ever heard, but the only time any Republican came close to countering it was when McCain defended Obama from the woman in Lakeville, MN. Not to mention that I have seen this in practice personally- A Republican told me once that Black people have failed because of bad values and poor morals, and when I called upon another Republican to refute that statement, he preferred to drop the issue instead of having what he himself called “an important conversation.” They would help themselves if they told bigots “we don’t want your vote, or your participation in our party.”

But honestly, who really wanted to talk about it before Obama called the nation out?

Correct or not, right or not, the popular opinion is that the Republican party is the party of old White men, and it has been relatively recently that they have started to turn that around. Michael Steel, Ken Blackwell, or Sarah Palin won’t do it alone, but the party’s attention to these people (among others) as prominent members will help in changing their image.

I was happy to read the following article, which was posted after I began writing this:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/12/27/obama.song/index.html#cnnSTCText

And you can read Ehrenstein’s response here.

http://fablog.ehrensteinland.com/2008/12/27/here-come-those-tired-old-tits-again-2/

Dammit!

So the Bears win after blowing a two touchdown lead, but Kyle "Neck Beard" Orton pulled out a come-back win in the last couple of minutes of the game. Sound familiar? This would be the second time this season that Orton and the defense worked together to drop a lead and get it back at the last minute.

The Chicago Bears apparently think that a blow out, or even holding onto a lead for the whole game, is boring. Or maybe the defense figures that the offense isn't going to give them a rest, so they have to actually rest while on the field which results in points for the opposing team.

Anyway, I caught a good bit of 30 Rock and in the first couple of minutes I thought I had a lock on another .5 points in the dead pool when Jack hit his mother with the car, but... Santa will deliver just about anything except death apparently, even the imaginary kind.

Special commercial note: has anyone seen that Nike commercial with T Polamalu and L Tomlinson? You know, the one where it follows them through their lives all the way to when they meet on the Pro field and they collide and are kids again? That is a fantastic commercial- don't get to see it very often.

One of my favorite things about living in Chicago (and having only basic cable) is the wide variety of public access channels that I have at my disposal. One of my favorites is Channel 19, which further proves the long held belief that anyone *anyone* can get on TV.

Last night I watched a guy by the name of Clifton Bradley, and he taught me lots of new things! Here's a list:


What I Learned on Clifton Bradley’s show “Underground Railroad” that I did not know previously.

1. The main dish at the first Thanksgiving was not turkey- it was people.

2. The word “phenotype” means “many organisms that come together to form a whole.”

3. The word “renegade” means “traitor.”

4. There are many similarities between Barack Obama and Adolf Hitler.

5. You should, in fact, believe everything you see on tv.

6. Europeans don’t want to be exterminated, and are trying to destroy all non-Europeans to avoid this.

When you take into account the fifth lesson, it's all so easy to take in, isn't it?

If so, here's a little abomination that you can feast your eyes on! The back story is that I am taking what is officially known as "Interactive Portfolio Design," but is basically a web development class.

And hey, if anyone can figure out why my header and links shift (especially when everything looks right on paper), I'll buy you a beer when Doc Worm and I come up for the Christmas. The plus side is that I'm getting used to Dreamweaver and code in general.

http://cdh5328.aisites.com/G444/caholl/final/index.html

Dedicated to Worm 2 and Preschool Worm, with my condolences!